Skin Deep

I can make a lot of excuses and all of them are very valid as to why my well of thoughtful meanderings has run dry. The progress I have made on my IIH road has been wrought with twists and turns and peaks and valleys. The hard part about it, is it is not visible to the naked eye. There are days where I can be present and perform and throw down some wings but they now come at a price.

A few weeks ago, my medicine was giving me the most distasteful side effect: rage and anger. Every single inconvenience and annoyance added to the weight on my shoulders and pain in my head. My doctor had prescribed me a  different medicine but my pharmacy had run out of it on the day I asked my boss to leave early to pick it up before their 5PM close time. (Yes, my pharmacy closes at 5PM because I am on an affordable plan that I chose from the Healthcare Marketplace, part of the Affordable Care Act, and it’s the only way I could get my prescription without having to pay, because I met my deductible in February.) After a dump truck full of inconveniences, men asking about my shirt, and the frustration of feeling desperate to have medicine that would ease my pain; I drove straight to Sephora.

I may be in pain but I am still vain. I was so unhappy with how everything was going in my life and to make everything even worse in my world, my make up was smeary and gross. All I wanted to do was dunk my head in a tub of make up remover and vodka.  I am thankful for my crippling make up addiction which affords me to be a “V.ery I.mportant B.eautyInsider Rouge” so I had a 20% off coupon that was burning a hole in my pocket. My favorite person at Sephora was there and I swatch make up all over my hands and neck and we talked about the newest pallets and about sun protection. I felt like I went to therapy. The radiant beams from the make up displays and smell of designer fragrances transported me away from my reality. I didn’t feel aggressive and angry. I felt pretty and like a better version of myself, even if I was to wash it off at the end of the day.

The following weekend, my new medicine is kicked in and I sensed the tension loosen up. I do an 8PM show then B (my boyfriend) and I grab a late dinner at Holeman & Finch before the 1AM Secret Show. We both were having trouble focusing on our meal with neighbors inches away from our shoulders but we enjoy the moment. We ordered a few plates that were fine and B suggested we order the buffalo chicken skins. So, is it like a pork rind but with chicken? Or more like the skin from a chicken wing? It was the latter, and the irony was not lost on me that we were just eating the surface of a chicken wing with buffalo sauce. We paid for just chicken skin with wing sauce. They were good, don’t get me wrong. But it felt fake, it felt like Ulta to me. If you have not been, Ulta is a large make-up and hair care chain of stores usually in shopping centers. They carry a lot of the same brands as Sephora but with the glamour and sophistication of a Khol’s. They also carry a lot of drug store brands. The experience is inferior to Sephora; like eating chicken skin when you could go somewhere else and have the MEAT AND BONE INSIDE OF THE CHICKEN. Sure, Ulta is great when you happen to be in a shopping center with one in it and you want just a NYX matte lipstick but you are missing out on the best parts of shopping for make up.

We left Holeman & Finch, happy to get time together but not raving about coming back. It’s definitely a place to say you have been but I have been to better places with a better overall experience. I guess what I am getting at is, just bring me some wings to a Sephora and I will be in heaven.


Published by Annie Lockwood

Annie is a stand up comic based in Atlanta. She is passionate about comedy, concerts, and buffalo wings.

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