I have shared on and off stage about a bad Tinder date. (yes, I know they are hack. Yes, everyone has bad ones. I know, I’m not that special.)
And it involves my beloved wings.
The date started off with the gent not getting out of the booth to greet me. So that made me wary of where the date was going. The dude was in school at The Creative Circus and bragged non-stop. At one point during cocktails he makes me read his website while he’s sitting across from me.
He knew I did stand up so he made sure to ask about a chick that annoyed him to pieces at The Creative Circus that ~did comedy~ at The Laughing Skull. (To this day, I have never seen her.)
I am annoyed but I just want effing wings.
We order a trio of flavors and chow down. 2 out of 3 were really good but not good enough because I don’t remember the flavors.
We split the check and he walked me to my car and even with my head almost completely turned around, he managed to land one on my sauce stained lips.
It was all disappointing. The price of the dinner was not worth the company. I didn’t bother reaching out to him again even though he assumed we had great chemistry (if you consider me, a big talker, to be almost silent the whole date).
A few months later, I get a text from an unknown number, its this jabroni saying, “Hey Annie! I was wondering if you could hook me up with a bag of ganj.”
1. You’re a grown man…just call it weed.
2. How big of a bag? Like a Hefty garbage bag? a Barbie purse size bag?
3. How desperate are you to ask someone you went on 1 Tinder date with?? Do you not know how to use craigslist?
Like this exchange with this fart smeller, The Family Dog is closed with a slated reopening for November 11, 2015.
This experience doesn’t warrant a clucking response.