There are times I just want wings so bad that I will eat whatever is available. Saturday night, I settled for lackluster wings. I met someone at Flat Iron for a drink before hitting a circuit of social engagements together. I hadn’t eating anything so I thought it would be a good idea to grab a bite so I wouldn’t get woozy meeting new people who were going to instantly size me up.
I usually feel ‘meh’ when I go to Flat Iron for more than booze. I ordered the 10 Buffalo Wings. They were fresh and piping hot but that’s about it. The sauce was so thin it was like the kitchen had to cut costs so they thinned out their wing sauce. I don’t like settling for blah wings.
The rest of my night was not ruined by the wings. I had a lot of fun and the weekend was more fun than I expected.
In my personal life (dating and otherwise), I set standards for myself. When I compromise and accept something that is less than I deserve, I feel bad… just like having lackluster wings.
As like many adolescents, I wanted to be liked. By everyone. Which meant, I was okay proverbially eating wings that had a runny sauce and no crunch because they were available. It spilled over into dating, I was dating people that just showed up in my life, some wings are better than no wings I believed. As my front lobe of my brain has developed, I learned that I would rather have no wings than wings that aren’t good enough.
End of 2014, beginning of 2015 I took several months of intentional dating abstinence (including communication that was not platonic) because all the times I settled, it took a toll on me. I had an idea of the characteristics of the kind of person I wanted to be with but made exceptions… ” these wings have a weak sauce but they are only 25 cents a piece; I guess I will order them anyway.” This time to focus on other things helped me grow in comedy, in my friendships, and in my internal well being.
Once I was done with my dating hiatus, I got some “wings”and they were closer to the standard I was looking for. I now don’t want any wings or anyone in my life who makes me hurt (stomach or heart).
Later on in the weekend, the someone I was gallivanting around Atlanta with all Saturday, took me to a friends party on Sunday to meet more of their friends. Low and behold, someone made wings for the party.
I dropped our case of High Life in the kitchen and I put three wings on my plate, hoping that this someone’s friends will like me.
They were so good. It put me at ease; the wings were good, the friends of the someone were so fun, and I was glad I was with that someone.
I wanted this sauce on the wings I had 24 hours prior. It was a reminder that you move past the times you settle. There are better wings out there. You have to eat the so-so and the bad wings to know what’s good.
I look back and part of me wants to take back all the times I settled but I am so glad the lessons they taught me.
I am so glad that there are still good wings out there.
Annie Lockwood 