Effort

Sunday night, I went to the Nook adjacent to Piedmont Park. I had heard of their infamous “Totchos” (tater tots dressed as nachos) but hadn’t made it there to try.

I was asked there by Gene* (name has been changed). Gene is a Yankee transplant and has personified more Southern chivalry than most Georgia bred boys. Gene is from NYC and doesn’t have a car, so he made an effort to walk from his place to the Nook. (He walked about 2mi in the cold and dark!)

We sat down and he made sure that I was content with my drink, with our Totchos, and made sure I got the wings.

We settled on the Honey Chipotle BBQ  smoked wings, based on our server’s recommendation. Their wings did not have that smokey taste like the name said. They looked and tasted more like they were char-grilled. The skin was almost black; the seasoning must have not agreed with the grill/smoker. A great smoked wing  has a dark brown color, not black. The Honey Chipotle BBQ sauce had the right amount of heat and a touch of sweetness that was not overpowering. I did not care for the sauce’s texture. It was very thick. If a few drops of butter made its way in, the consistency would be divine.

The ranch that came along side of it was delicious. It was homemade, for sure. I didn’t do much dipping because of the thick sauce on the wings. (And it didn’t need it.)

More than anything, I had a great time with Gene. He put forth an effort that made our time even more fun.

Dating is hard for everyone and when effort on both ends is put forth, it makes a great experience. I get just as frustrated when I hear girls using guys for a “free meal” as I do when guys buy girls drinks at the bar just to use them for sex. We can’t go into dates hoping to get something out of it except creating a new connection and having fun.

When I moved back to Atlanta to work in the film industry, I had no money. I worked as a freelance production assistant and had two part time jobs at the mall (which I mentioned previously about Checker’s wings) and when I made plans with someone, I was missing an opportunity to work (and it costs money to have fun.) So each date I went on that year, I was intentional about the effort I put in and conscious of what the other person did to make sure the date was enjoyable. I truly appreciate if the effort put forth is scheduling, planning a fun experience, financially backing it, or just being present and attentive.

Women, who ever we are on a date with… even if you don’t feel a “spark”…appreciate the effort your date put into making it a good time.

Men, who ever you are on a date with…even if you don’t feel a “spark” or you can tell the other person doesn’t….appreciate the effort your date put in (appearance, scheduling, or splitting the bill).

People notice when you put effort in and when you have wing sauce all over your face.